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The German (excerpt)
Blind Man’s Bluff
Casual and Unobtrusive
Extra Strong
First time Bloomer
Ideal Parties
A little Life
The Bowling Alley
The Other Woman
The Bird
No excuses
There were Two of them
The Signing
Philosophy of Silence
Real Ugly Things
Small Town Diners
The In The Forest Thing
The Shop Assistant
What it’s like being a man
Alternative Ending
The Incident
The secret Dialogues
Worded stimulation for the little urges inbetween

No excuses.

Woke up early enough to have no excuses, so I decided to go and get myself a proper full blown breakfast. Like beans and eggs, tomatoes and mushrooms, toast and bacon it worked out fine just that I soiled my top. Dribbled egg and beans all over it, didn’t feel like I could go into work looking like that without keeping my jacket on all day and tightly closed as well. It was to hot for that though, I would have fainted, collapsed by heat someone would have zipped me open and found the reason for my collapse, that way would have been even more embarrassing. So it never happened that way instead I found a place close to my proximity. Uniforms it said on the outside and I wasn’t sure what to expect inside. Inside was empty though, perhaps cause of the weather, it was pouring down outside, there was the sales people (three of those) and there was me. There were a couple of stethoscopes behind the counter and a million medical tops everywhere else. I figured I was in the outfitters for ER or Casualty or some other medical program perhaps even a real hospital close by. The thing was that I took a likening to those medical tops after trying one on. I felt like a doctor or almost, a freelance doctor perhaps and that was my thought for the day. I bought a greenish top just like the ones they wear when they cut people open. I put it over the off green t-shirt which had posed for an outfit up till then and what can I say I looked like a mix between ‘Star Trek‘ and ‘ER‘. I liked and had no problem turning up to work like this. It even gave me a sort of flair which I would have found hard to achieve otherwise. For the rest of the day I tried staying as far away from my desk as possible, instead just wandered around the building up the stairs down the stairs nodding at people especially those I didn’t know and especially at the female half of those. There were smiles left, right and centre. The nurses loved me, not that I was in a hospital or anything like that, but there were the potential nurses nevertheless. I smiled, and smiled proclaiming to be a freelance doctor, sure that everyone understood the joke I was playing, but not sure whether they did indeed. Needless to say I loved the effect I had on the female population of the building. I loved it so much though that when time to leave had arrived I stayed on for an extra hour, after all it could get busy at hospital. Just before I left I made a few calls. Mates of mine, seeing what they were up to, whether they wanted to party, go for a drink somewhere, somewhere sophisticated. Somewhere a doctor would have his choice of nurses, somewhere meant anywhere though and my friends knew it.

We had a drink in a drafty pub were I never got out of my jacket, but eventually moved on to a somewhat more delicate location. The temperature was more manageable as well and I got out of my jacket about as fast as I could. There I was stood at the bar just about ready to order a first drink when I caught the eye of a pretty blonde just behind me. Never knew how I managed to do that, I guess it involved a lot of twisting and turning though. She stopped me from getting a drink for about 5 minutes while I did some plain posing and twinkling with the eye and all sort of contortions, in the end some guy dragged her away and I felt like a right arse. It never stopped me to get even more foolish though, I got a drink first, then proceeded to feel a pulse or two, as far as I could tell everyone around me was dead, but I always offered to operate, after all that was my speciality. Just call me Doc I said to the third or fourth girl I checked on. She did, smiled as she did too, I may took it to literal but it never mattered. I offered the position of head nurse for the night and she accepted. We had another drink, for purely medical purposes I assured and got tipsy enough to get unnaturally close - considering. Then they kicked us out, it wasn’t like we were the last to go but somehow we were the last of our friends to go. For a while we just walked, the direction was that of my house but we hadn’t made any plans till just then.

' Wanna come back for another or a coffee?'

' Hm,' giggled the girl,' that an order Doc?'

' More like a friendly suggestion,' I nodded, happy about the way I put it.

' In the name of medical research then. '

She giggled again. She was a nice looking girl went by the name of Patricia, not a stunner, but someone you turn around for and if just to do a big sigh.

© Marcus Bastel